Mixed Emotions

Kinder Soaps is experiencing growing pains. There’s no other way I can think of to describe what things are like at the moment.

On some days I feel invincible, and that nothing will get in the way of our reaching more people and helping them with their skin issues. There are tonnes of parcels to ship, orders to fulfill, and help on hand.

On others, I’m plagued with doubts:

How can I be so sure that I can make rent and cover staffing costs?

What if I never find the right person to be a reliable helper for the shop?

Are my products flawed?

What if I run out of cash???

Sometimes there are so many emails in here that I can’t bring myself to look at them anymore (shameful, but it’s true ).

The list goes on. I feel like things are going at break-neck speed and I’m doing all I can to catch up–and not being able to cover all my bases along the way, with regards to slowly thinking things through and preparing for contingencies. For instance, I just found out that the cost of putting up the shop’s roller shutters will increase significantly because of

  1. the possible change in material to match the requirements from Jaya 33 on all shoplots, and
  2. having to install the shutters at night (after work hours), which entails additional labour charges.

All this mental chatter, while in the background I hear my kids wailing away for some much needed attention–which I sometimes cannot afford. And that’s the worst part of all this busy-ness.

Perhaps it’s just my hormones acting up on me on occasion. Or the lack of sleep. Or missing my other half who sometimes works late as well.

Having placated my logical self with those thoughts, I take a breather of some sort, and pull myself together to carry on.

I may still be tired, but I carry on. I may still be doubtful, but I carry on.

I’m only human, but I try my best to make good choices.

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